Reading through my very few posts was hard. Harder than I thought it would ever be... But it also brings to life the incredible changes that have happened in my life, and how different a person I am now.
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A lot has changed since my last post. I started dating someone a couple months after my last post (kinda on accident, and despite my own broken heart), and we've been inseparable ever since. Now, we're engaged to be married! Although I am very happy to be engaged to this wonderful man, it comes with tons of complications with my family. But that's a whole other story and not something I have the energy to get into today.
I was going to make a post updating on my health. I wrote for hours, going through and making changes and edits and adding things and taking out irrelevant thoughts... and then I realized how bitter I felt about what I was writing. I'm not yet finished writing it so it will most likely be my next post, but the entire situation still burns fresh for me, and makes me genuinely angry.
Many of the stories I'd like to write about are also emotionally charged ones that I still feel strongly connected to. I'm not sure why, but I can't stop clinging on to them. Hopefully, in writing them down I can clear my mind of them and move one. I make no promises to myself on the matter though; none of the promises to move on have ever been fulfilled. I no longer have unrealistic expectations of myself.
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In a lot of ways, I'm still that broken hearted girl who could barely keep it together... I'm not perfect. Sometimes it's still hard to simply exist, but I am doing better.
Until next time~
Who I was and who I am; and
Whom I'm meant to be...
Of whom I dream -
Standing tall -
Through storms across the sea.
That woman strong,
That woman proud,
Who I could one day be,
If I could save myself -
Create myself -
The hard salt eroded me.
-me
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